Bending until I Break

All, Living, My Thoughts, Theory

Have you ever felt like your life

is pulling at each of your limbs, stretching you out by each hand and each foot, in every opposite imagedirection, each limb being pulled toward some responsibility or some thing or some person needing your time and energy while you feel as if your limbs are going to snap?
I sort of feel that way or at least that is the best analogy I could think of right now. I am sick and have been for the past week and a half so I’m tired.

Yet im also tired of feeling like I’m waiting to see what happens and keeping promises I only hold with myself. Promises that result in a Bilateral Agreement of Self

if x happens then I can do y; but if x doesn’t happen I need to do z.

I keep things in and don’t tell anyone.

Things bother me. But I refuse to let anyone know. Why? Because I don’t want my problems to transfer to anyone else. But it happens, it always happens.

Somehow, I end up sharing whatever is happening and people get pulled in to the mess that is My Life. I love the people in my life… But I can’t make find a way to make it work. My life isn’t mine, and hasn’t been since God gave me a child. Yes i want things for myself but oh well.   image



Greedy for More — A Hunger for Silence 

Around the Web, Living, My Thoughts, Theory

I’ve got a Hunger, Twisting my Stomach into Knots….

That my tongue is tied off. 

Ok, that’s a Death Cab for Cutie Song. 

But I think it’s safe to say individuals all have their own hungers or desires. Something to look forward to or strive to pleasure themselves with each day; a reward for hardwork, reward for resisting some other pleasure, or completing a dreaded task. 

One of my pleasures is the 

Sound of Silence. 

My Personality Doppleganger 

Around the Web, Theory

I’ve always said my Daughter, A, is Physically her Dad’s Twin and Personality–Wise, My Twin.

In the Myers–Briggs World, I’m typed as an INFJ.

I live in my head, think too much, feel for others, and am shy around people I don’t know until I feel comfortable around them. I am most myself at home or at people’s homes I know well like family or close friends.

After I got A tucked into bed last night